Show me the money: why women need to stop working for free

This is what happens pretty much every time I’m asked to speak at event. If I’m free and like the idea, I say:

“I’d love to do it. What’s the rate?”

The response is generally “we don’t have a budget for speakers”. But my train fare will be paid. And I’ll get a free lunch. Oh and it will be great “exposure” for me, I’m told.

This is part where I point out that it will take me x number of hours to prepare my presentation, take part in pre-event “briefings” and travel to and from the venue. Hours, or even days, of time I won’t be able to work for anyone else, which as a self-employed person is quite a big deal.

I also point out, politely of course, that as they are charging people to attend, they really ought to pay their speakers.

A few emails later, I’ve generally secured myself a decent enough fee for the job (in one memorable case the offer shot from £0 to £1500) but instead of congratulating myself on my negotiation skills, I often find myself worrying. Did I sound too ‘grabby’? Will they think I’m obsessed with money? Am I arrogant to think people should pay for my time and expertise?

I know in my heart that none of this is true. But in a culture where my skills like mine - writing, communicating, teaching - aren’t always valued as they should be, it’s easy to fall into self-doubt. Especially as a woman.

Research consistently shows that women are generally more reluctant than men to put themselves forward for promotion or ask for a pay rise. And they’re more likely work part-time, freelance or on flexible contracts - which means asking for what they want often has to be balanced with job security.

For me, being self-employed is a lifestyle choice. I started doing it long before I thought about having children. But for many women, it’s the only way they can juggle childcare, family life and a career.

While there are many benefits, it can leave you feeling like you’re only as good as your last commission or project. This means you’re in danger of taking on poorly paid projects - simply because you’re not sure iif there’s any more work around the corner.

And when you’re constantly worrying about where your next pay cheque is coming from, it’s easy to be tricked into working for ‘can pay won’t pay’ chancers who talk of ‘exposure’ like it’s a currency.

I’ve learned the hard way that ‘exposure’ won’t pay my mortgage. So while it’s not always comfortable, I’m learning to stand my ground on charging what I’m worth.

It’s not always about asking for more; sometimes it’s about saying ‘no’ to bartering. People often try to knock down the price of my PR training and consultancy - or offer skill swaps. While it can be tempting (I was recently offered a beautiful piece of artwork) I almost always say no. If people aren’t willing to part with the cash, they either don’t really value what I do or they’re not ready to do the work. Neither of which bodes well for our working relationship.

I’ve also learned that if I want people to respect my time, I must respect theirs. So I pay everyone who works for me - even things I could get someone to do for free. It’s not just about setting a good example; when people aren’t being paid, they generally don’t work as hard.

That doesn’t mean I never work for free. I write guest blogs, give podcast interviews and - very occasionally - speak for free. But only when I’ve carefully weighed up the personal and professional benefits.

If giving away a few hours of my time can save me a ton on advertising or connect me with the kind of people I want to work with, it can be worth my while. But it’s no one else’s place to tell me what’s good ‘exposure’ for my business. That’s for me to decide.

Janet Murray is a writer, speaker and PR trainer. Read her blog at janetmurray.co.uk