We are who we surround ourselves with.
We have all heard that before, and while it feels a bit clichéd, it’s true.
I have seen this truth come to life in so many ways with the people I have worked with over the years.
I knew an up-and-comer in corporate America who was flying up the ranks and landed in a position where he found himself reporting to the most negative, brow-beating manager known to mankind. It didn’t take long for that up-and-comer’s light to be blown out and for him to fade into the background.
Another entrepreneur I knew built a successful business by being an expert in her field, but she came to a complete standstill due to paralyzing fear and lack of self-worth and confidence. When asked the question about who provides her positive support in her life, after a silent 45 seconds, her voice cracked when she responded with, “no one.”
There is no doubt that all people are resilient, and that we can endure a lot of struggle and strife in our lives, but powering through or constantly resetting and clearing your own thoughts and energy is exhausting.
If you have found yourself in a position of feeling stagnant or at a standstill in your career and you are feeling called to up-level, understand those around you.
Who are you spending the most time with? Are they a positive or negative influence in your life? Do they support you? Are they inspiring and motivating you to step outside your comfort zone?
After taking inventory of the people who surround us, it is common to realize it’s time to add some new people to your circle of influence.
Here are three suggestions to consider:
1. Don’t let the fear of not being able to offer something to someone in return stop you.
As I work with clients and we talk about the people around them, they often list people whom they look up to and admire. When I ask them about reaching out to that person to arrange some time for conversation or mentoring, a common response is, "But I don’t have anything of value to offer them in return."
I understand that feeling, but here’s the truth: When people share a connection with someone about something they love, they will talk about it forever!
Think about it. You know how, when you have discovered an area of passion with someone, they seriously will not shut up! It is highly likely the person you would like to connect with is on your list because of their area of passion, which means they may actually view it as fun.
2. People do not have to be in your exact field.
A common thought about personal growth and surrounding ourselves with people to inspire us and help us grow is to find as many people as we can that are in our field or industry.
This isn’t necessary.
I remember my career coaching days when I would write resumes and LinkedIn profiles for people and we would inevitably get to the discussion of transferrable skills. I fall into the camp that believes transferrable skills are real, but most people don’t know how to make the connection between what they do now to something different.
It’s often the same when thinking about people to spend time with.
There are connection points and similarities in all areas of life and business. Just because someone is in a different industry doesn’t mean they have nothing of value to give you -- it’s, in fact, just the opposite. They can broaden your point of view and inform you of things you may not otherwise get exposed.
3. Be intentional.
When we come across a topic that aligns with a need in our lives, it is natural to want to run out and put it to work immediately. I would encourage you to maintain the enthusiasm, but be intentional with the people you consider.
Think about areas of your life and career where there are gaps. Is there someone who could help fill in that gap? It tends to be easiest to think about adding people to help with our careers, but are there areas of your personal life that you could positively support and influence?
Any time we take a moment to get clear on our intentions, I believe paths are opened up to us to fulfill those intentions.
No matter what you are looking to do or accomplish in your career, you don’t have to do it alone. There are people you know and people you haven’t yet met who will be able to inspire and motivate you in ways you never dreamed of. When you’re creating momentum to take your career to the next level, always take time to look for people to help you along the way.
