How to find a Mentor?

1. If you attend a meet-up for a talk by someone you admire, is it called mentorship?
2. If you meet someone very successful at a conference and exchange business cards to connect post-event, does it mean that person will offer you guidance?
3. If you send a random message to a stranger and ask him “Will you be my mentor?” Do you think he will ever say yes?

The answer to all questions above is 'NO'.

I get this question often “Would you consider mentoring me?” Even if I want to help, I have to decline to focus on other priorities. Most people understand this and then ask, "How do I find an amazing mentor in a sea of professionals, and how do I get that person to want to help me?" Good question. But to be brutally honest, their chances of finding a mentor are slim. Let me explain or rather show what I've done over these years to connect with amazing people all across the globe

I first figure what I want to do and what is the problem I'm seeking a mentor perspective for, it could be anything as small as which course is best for a particular area of interest to how can I get better at job interviews. Then I get in touch with people (mostly strangers) I perceive to have done it before. No matter what you’re trying to achieve, there are 7 billion people in the world and there are people out there who have done similar things to what you’re attempting to do. I find these people on Linkedin. I ask people who are not in my direct competitors, people in a different geography or who have moved onto something else. You’d be surprised at how many people respond.

Here’s a msg reference that I used once, privacy protected -

Another template

Hi <First Name>

I am X, a tech entrepreneur <link your identity>. I'm working on Y.

I would greatly appreciate your advice on exits, and any insights you’ve gained from your experience at ABC.

Would you be free for a brief chat on Skype? Happy to send you $500 for your time.

Kind Regards, <Your Name>

It all starts with an email, message or a tweet.

When emailing, you can bribe people. Offer them $500 to talk to you or something that's meaningful for them. This makes it look like you’re serious about your request and respectful of their time. Most real mentors who genuinely want to help won’t accept your money. For people who do accept your money, don’t bother talking with them. Because if they need $500, then they’re probably not very successful and would make a crappy mentor.

Even after finding mentors, you’ll still have to figure out a lot of the journey by yourself. Nobody has a magic recipe. You’re aiming to do something great and that involves blazing a path into the unknown. It’s like playing soccer. You can read all about soccer tactics, you can practice dribbling, practice kicking. But if you want to get good at soccer, you need to get out onto the field and play the game. Think for yourself, follow your heart, and take action.

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.

You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference. – Steve Jobs

So, what do you do if you are trying to find a mentor? If you already have a mentor tag them here in comments below