After having two babies, I know two things for certain: You'll be up every 2 to 3 hours in the beginning weeks and months, no matter what you do. And every child is different. My older daughter was a difficult baby, but slept like a dream after just a night or two of "crying it out" right after she turned four months old. She popped her thumb in her mouth and it hasn't come out since (our next battle!).
My younger baby is a dream all day, but the noisiest sleeper I've ever heard! She squeals, talks, and squawks her way through the night, sometimes even while she's asleep — and we're most certainly not. That said, my husband and I have stayed sane and slept (somewhat) soundly — with these tricks.
1. Expert tag teaming.
With our first, my husband would do the last feeding of the night, while I made sure to go to sleep as early as I could — even as early as 8 p.m. — to get a solid block of rest in by the time the baby woke for her middle of the night feeding. Trust me — by 8 p.m. with a baby, you are ready to fall face-first into your bed!
2. Divide and conquer.
With our second, my husband and I divided the week in half. We would both go to bed as early as possible and then he would do middle of the night/early morning feedings on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, while I tackled Sunday through Wednesday. This meant he got a solid night of sleep in before most work days, and I got to sleep through on the weekends.
3. Napping ain't just for babies.
Yes, easier said than done, but pick one (or two!) of your babies snoozes to close your eyes yourself, knowing that — especially with a sleepy newborn — there will be other nap-portunities for you to tackle household chores, showering, etc. Or there won't — and that is okay too! Let things slide a bit for the sake of catching some ZZZs — your body will thank you.
4. Soundproof yourself.
One of the pitfalls of living in an apartment is that when my husband was "on," I was still able to hear him feeding the baby. I would listen and decipher what was happening — Had he burped her? Did she just spit up? What is that coughing? Sleep was impossible! Try either white noise or soothing music to keep yourself in the dark.
5. Trust your partner!
They can do as good a job as you, and even if they do things a bit differently, who cares? You're asleep!
6. Get through the day, get through the night.
This was the motto at a New Moms group I attended and is so true. The baby will only sleep in the swing? I'm sure I'll hear from some readers about this one, but… I say let them sleep in the swing! The same goes for the Rock and Play, the car seat, on your chest — I promise they won't do so forever, and if it gets you and the baby some sleep, I'm all for it. [Editor's Note: Since the publication of this article, there has been a recall announced for the Fisher-Price Rock 'n Play because of possibly dangerous conditions during sleep. It is not recommended to let infants sleep in one.]
7. Leave them be.
You will soon be able to tell when your baby's cries mean they need something or they're just, well, being a baby. Let them fuss a little and see if they can settle themselves back down. If cries escalate then certainly address them, but give them the chance to first. Bonus tip: Watch the clock. Each minute will last forever, but if you know you're actually only allowing two minutes to go by, you'll feel better.
8. Routines rock!
With my older daughter, we read about creating a routine and thought it was silly. We had our first sitter when she was a few weeks old and told her, "we don't have a bedtime routine… but here's what you should do," and listed eight things in a specific order. That's a routine! It was just a set of activities that helped her know that sleep was coming and grew to be a time that we treasured.
9. Embrace your new normal.
Yes, everyone will commiserate about the lack of sleep, but the more you accept it as your new way of life, the easier it will be to handle. Resistance is futile, as is thinking you will ever consistently sleep soundly again, because…
10. You'll never figure it out.
There is no silver bullet, nothing that will make your child the best sleeper in the world, 365 days a year. They will have nights when they aren't tired come bedtime. They will get sick. They will continue to grow, change and need different things. The best thing you can do is roll with those punches, and know that just by caring this much about their sleep, you are an incredible parent. So relax — that's my bonus tip — they feed off your energy, and seeing you calm, cool, and collected will set the stage for as sound a sleep as can be.
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